A look back, and forward

I seem to spend my whole day writing. Whether it's here for you and me, work for me and the stuff I seem to need money for, or a little email to let people know that I'm not quite dead, I seem to spend my whole day writing. It's ok. I enjoy it. It just seems to be in a place where It's all to serve another purpose and less for the sake of just doing it. So maybe it's time to try.

It's dangerous to tell people that you're going to try and write something. Everyone wants to know what it is, and how long it'll be, and if they're in it. It's hard because once you tell people you're suddenly accountable for producing it. That little voice in my head starts screaming "But what if it sucks?!..." The what-if guy is my worst enemy. When he shows up I have to put down my pen/laptop (gently) and put on my running shoes and go for a run. I do a lot of work when I'm running. It's like picking at a knotted piece of string. Some times the string has been knotted for so long that dirt has embedded itself in the ruts and you have to clear years worth of mud to even see where the problems are. Some days the string is unsalvagable no matter how much work you've put in to it, and begrudgingly you have to put it aside and pick up a new thread. And then the what-if guy shows up again just to mess with me.

So I've decided. Yes, I've decided that I'm going to give this a shot. If I can write a few hundred words a day for this site, and a few hundred emails a day for work, I can surely write a few hundred more words for me in a larger piece to someday share with you. That what-if guy will be there too. He will. I know that he will. And it's ok. He's the one that brings glimpses of reality in to the room, reminding me that I do have a day job, and prodding me just often enough to make me go and run until he's out of my head. I'm training for Ironman and so I can use one more run.

I'm ready to tell some stories... I'll keep you posted. -dean